Hold Me Tight
Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT,
Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love. (2008)
Hold Me Tight teaches couples how to hear their partner's deepest concerns, "are you there for me", "am I really important to you", "is our relationship secure and solid" when those concerns are expressed through criticism or content. It reminds partner's that all communications are attempts to connect, no matter how badly delivered. In this way,
Susan Johnson teaches couples to read below the surface of a complaint down to the attachment need being expressed underneath. When attachment needs can be faced and processed directly, couples feel closer. Johnson offers couples in couples counseling an adjunctive support system in addition to the therapy hour. Hold Me Tight is also an excellent resource for couples working things out on their own.
It provides a clear and solid guideline for repairing hurt and restoring connection. I am recommending it to the couples in my practice, and the reports coming back about how helpful and transformative Johnson's approach is have been glowing!
Reviews
"A much needed message to all couples and therapists and I recommend it to all." (author of Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. )
"At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey." (bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and coauthor of And Baby Makes Three John Gottman, Ph.D. )
"There's something appealing about this book's honest, no-holds-barred approach. By creating complete emotional safety and by willing to be fearless about it, it seems to me, not only can real love be kept alive, it can flourish" (Boston Globe )
Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind, and give you practical strategies for improving your marriage. It will be an instant classic. (author of Take Back Your Marriage William J. Doherty, Ph.D. )
Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. This fabulous book will be of great benefit...to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo! (author of Parenting from the Inside Out Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. )
A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century. (author of Getting It Right the First Time Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. )
